I had not realised how long it is since I updated my journal - I have been a very busy bunny. There is soooo much to police around here.
Mother is still working silly hours and recently went into hospital for an operation. She took 3 days off then went back to work. No-one could beleive she would be sooo stupid !

Dis-Grace has also had an operation - and she is a much better bunny. She drove me mad with her humping and I had to chase her away and nip her because I couldnt take any more. Mother said she was dribbling - not very ladylike Miss Grace.
She went away one day, came back the same day, had a little sleep in the litter tray and that was that.

We have both had Mixi - oh no thats wrong - I think I had VHD which is worse, but we are both better now.

Uncle David has started letting himself in the house when mother is at work. He is supposed to be lime rendering the old wall and paving the log store with blue lias so that the cat cant poo in it. But he doesnt. He sits and plays with Grace ! He says he wants to take her home ! He says he is going to eat me !
He was trying to chip out the rendering and Dis-Grace was all over him, she is such a tart. He had to keep moving her out of the way. She was waiting for the bits of weed that used to grown in the wall to fall. His knee was the best place to wait. She got covered in old dusty lime mortar.

Mother is fed up of Grace Scrump. She will keep jumping on the dresser. She still throws bananas and apples to me - but I am not keen. She has had yet another telephone, a mobile charger, the curtains in the bedroom, mothers dressing gown, the back of the living room chair, the staircarpet is now bald, a corner of mothers dressing table, the leg of the patio table, Uncle Davids mixing drill thingy, the last lamp, books from the bookcase, all the papers behind the log basket, the vent hose to the tumble dryer cos someone left the laundry door open, and a mouse. But I suspect that cat had a hand in that.

Kit Alex has now left school and is not bothering to study for his A level exams. He is too interested in his car and in going to America in two weeks time. Mother dispares.

Then mother will be all alone.... and can lavish me with more attention.....if she ever comes home from work before dark.
Sgnt. Boris

On Friday Kit Alex skived off school and Mother skived off work and took Dis-Grace and I to the vets.
I was good.
I sat on mothers knee in the car, sat on her lap in the vets, sweated and heavy breathed in the vets room, let the vet look at my teeth and claws without a bat of an eyelid and declare both to be in very good condition. Then I sat quietly in the footwell of the car as we went home.

Scrump was a disgrace. She jumped all over in the car. Mother was sweating buckets to keep her off Kit Alex's knee whilst he was driving. She tried to get on the dashboard and under the gearstick and under the break. When we got to the vets she was reasonably good but when we got into the vets room she was a swine ! She wriggled and squirmed and wouldnt let the vet look at her teeth. She was good when she had her VHD - no sense no feeling I say.
On the way home she tried jumping about again and then gave up and did the most enormous flop in the car footwell.

She has to go again next week for her Mixi update....Mother is going to hire a tank

Women......

I dont expect this entry will stay here long. I opened a Live Journal for Grace and as she is under the age of 13 I was asked to 'parentally' verify that she was allowed a journal. In order to verify I was asked to put my credit card info into the system. I was assured that I would not be charged. I have received my statement - I have been charged £1.20 x 2. I complained and have been told that I have 'not really' been charged. Oh yes I have mateys. BE WARNED EVERYONE !!!!!!!!!!!!
Mother

I am ascance. There I am, quietly munching my breakfast, and there she is - Dis Grace - sitting atop the dresser hurtling telephones on top of my head.

I have a new mission.
I went to see mother in bed this morning and she commented that I smelt of wee. Me? Wee? Never!! I am a scented bunny.

When she came downstairs I had an Easter present for her. I had redecorated the kitchen, by spreading the contents of my rather large litter tray completely across the floor. It looked much better in there.

Silly Scrump was looking bemused from behind bars, mother uttered an expletive and tapped me on the nose saying I was bad. I am not bad I am creative. Scrump is complaining that she is locked up at night because she is bad and I am allowed free and I am equally as bad. Mother wont lock me up....I am special....and creative....and scented.

Scrump is sulking. Kit Alex has been at work in the bike store. He discovered that Scrump had dug underneath the pillar that supported the roof of the store. He has now completely cleared it out and put back the floor and boarded off the entrance. That worked fine.....but yesterday Scrump jumped over the barrier and lay down in the shade in there. Mother is trying to chase up the guy who is supposed to be paving it out - spoilsport.
Reformatting this house is a mission.
Boris
Scented Bunny.

Mother was talked out of her notice. She was asked to stay 'please'. Mother has made a big mistake, mother knows she has made a big mistake, mother is weak. She is back to 15 hour days and poor pay. All the responsibility and none of the recognition. AND she is not at home with me. Humph.

Kit Chris is home from his seat of learning. He made mother dinner when she got in from work. Mother said how lovely it was to have dinner made, she is normally too tired and too late and eats cereal. Kit Chris then gave mother a lecture about eating properly. Mother sat and listened then said he sounded like her mother. She said that she should be telling a student about eating properly and not the student lecturing the mother. Kit Chris didnt draw breath. he said, 'I do eat properly and you do not'.
Mother is amused.
I eat properly. I eat all the time. I do not need seats of learning to do this. Kit Chris says I am fat and should get fit. Mother says Kit Chris is older than she is..... I am confused.

Mother has handed in her notice. Then she went to the pub. Now she is sitting on her office computer reading bunny journals. I dont know what this notice is, but if it means that she spends more time with me then I think it is a good idea.

Kit Chris is recovering well. The problem is Scrump. She has made a big piddle by my cage. It is not nice. I go to take a drink from my Ezi Filla and there underneath it is a huge, HUGE I tell you, piddle. Bunnies called Grace should be gentle and ladylike not piddle in a puddle by my cage. She says it is not her and that it is a leaky bottle. Piffle I tell you. Complete piffle.
Indignant Boris.

Mother skipped work and abandoned me and flew off in an aeroplane to see kit Chris.
He had been ignoring his appendix and thought it was just too much beer. Things got to a head after he played in a football match and afterwards his mates took him to a drop in medical centre. They sent him to hospital. By the time mother got there he had been operated on and was/is fine. They caught it just in time and operated at four in the morning.
Mother is home now and giving me lots of attention. I am important. Thank you for your bunny vibes for kit Chris - they made everything OK so that she came home to me quickly.
Boris

Kit Chris has gone into hospital and is having an operation now!! He is a long way away and mother is very worried. Please send your best bunny vibes. Even Grace is being good tonight - she can tell mother isnt in the mood for prising her off the now very chewed stair carpet. Boris

I have done no harm, OK so I tried to push Josie from the car window but I didnt deserve this...this...bunny from hell. She eats the mat at the foot of the cage...all the rubber gone. Mother put tray liners in my litter tray - but no more as...this thing, she eats them too! The mat on the box at the end of the bed is in shreds and now I slip as I get into bed and the staircarpet comes away from the stair. She is a nightmare - will anyone take her away? I think she is an illegal -i'm sure of it. Call the agents to see it off.

It wasn't quite like I expected....this great romance thing.
I didnt like her...taking over my cage and my mother....AND she is blonde.
I growled at her....I tried to flip her over....and took chunks of fur from her retreating bum.
But...she's here now. I have to put up with her.

She's bad she's real bad. She doesnt speak properly...
she takes all my things...she eats everything.
I have been hiding. I am shamed. I have not posted on my journal .... i didnt want you to know that I have to live in the same burrow and share the same tray as.....



that...that...that DisGrace - Scrumpbunny !!!!!

They have closed our local shop, soooo no more weed man, no more weed for 6 weeks !!!!!!!!!!
They are going to have an archaelogical dig in the shop floor. Under the circumstances it seems only right that I reopen the diggings in the bike store, and go to meet them.
Mother says they are looking for Romans, I know they wont find any, but they will find the old culvert that once was the river through Axbridge. I have found part of it here. I am currently burrowing under the log store. Mother says its in the wrong direction ... what does she know?
Mother works a lot of hours and gets in very late. Kit Chris came home for a few days and I followed him around and lay at his feet whilst he was studying. He said I was like a DOG ! Huh - glad he's gone again.... dont need his insults. However for a short while - it was nice to have a pal. Come on Grace Bun Bun - hurry up !!
Boris
Intrepid Explorer.

No it is not an arranged marriage - I picked her myself...all by myself. I found her on the internet. She is just perfect.I will NOT let her dig in the bike store, I will NOT let her go on dangerous missions, I will guard her in the car - she is mine all mine.

Mother has just told me.....at last I am to get a girlfriend. It is my turn after all. You buns seem to have found love and it has eluded me, until now. Well its my turn.....she's coming. She's stopping...and she's mine all mine.
I am digging in the litter tray to make her half ready. I know she will bring some of mother in law's litter with her - for a while. Just to settle her in you understand. I will make a big space. I hope I have a good mother in law - I really dont want a busybody or a worrier. This Mother in law sounds cuddly and snuggly from what I have heard of her, her daughter will be the same I just know it. Thats what I need. I cant wait. I want her now!!!!!

Humph she's finally found out. She was secretly smug that all your other buns chewed things. ...and I didn't....well not much.... except the unimportant things like the roof retaining beams and suchlike.
Mother has a curtain over an alcove where she keeps her clothes. On the floor she keeps her shoes. She doesn't have many.....just a few collected over years and years and years. Always something for some occasion to drag out.
I have been attending to them. Quietly. I have attended to just one of every pair. Just one mind you.....not both.....and her problem is????????
Humph.

Hattie Bunny I DO NOT look a tit. I suspect you are jelous because you haven't got one let alone two! Hatties should have hats.
Anyway I couldn't wear the biggest hat - it is far too heavy I wouldn't get my head off the ground. Mother says to wear them you would need a back support.

Never one to refuse a dare...brave Boris will tell all.

The Bunny Girls all have something in common.
Being a buck (and Miles) is lacking.
Very lacking.
He was obviously concerned that Kit Alex would be lacking also.
Sooooo he brought him a big box of pens.

There ! Told you I would dare to tell the tale of the pressie that Kit Alex got.

Hmmm .... and moving swiftly on, Mother really enjoyed her evening and especially meeting Hattie and Austin's Mother for the first time.
It doesn't matter that I didn't get a pressie Hattie - I didn't even realise that - I had been given so much already.
Yes, you can play with it for me please.

Mother has since found in the fridge not only the cheese course but the melon for the starters. Suggest next time you bring an inventory 'cos she's a bit dense.
Contrary to popular belief I am NOT a goody two shoes. I am a proper little....
OH? Do you like my new hat?

Last night Mother invited round the Bunny Girls (and Miles).
Brunos Mother, Austin and Hatties Mother, Jazz and Boz's Mother (and Miles). A family re-united.

They arrived noisily and in a bunch.
They met snake, no longer in the bath, and exclaimed how scary he is.
They didnt bother with me.
I stayed in my box upstairs.
Good place to be in a box.
After they had eaten, mother came upstairs and dismantled box.
Poor way to handle a bunny that.
She brought sultana gifts and kept them under my nose in a rolled up fist as she struggled to catch me and force me....yes force me, downstairs.
There they all were...the Bunny Girls (and Miles). They wanted to touch me and stroke me and 'oh ah' at me....but I just wanted the 'tanas.
They said I looked like Freddie. I dont look like Freddie. He looks like false teeth.

They wern't so bad.
They wern't that scary...not as scary as snake.
So I decided to bide awile.

Brunos Mother brought me a box (good idea boxes)it had gifts for my tummy in. I have been at it all day and have taken to guarding the remnants.
Jazz and Boz's Mother (and Miles) brought me some bunny spliffs.
Weed man weed, cool.
I had no sooner tried the weed when I noticed something amiss in my new feed box.
There was a thing .... in my box.
It was an odd thing .... in my box.
(and Miles) has taken a photo. Just so you can see it.

I decided to eat it, not bad - but I wouldn't eat a certain part of it.... (and Miles) where's that photo?
Well a gentleman doesn't eat certain things now does he?
I left that bit.

Thereafter I stole the show.
Bunny Girls (and Miles)know how to behave in a bunny house.
You sit on the kitchen floor (nice cold, hard tiles in there) and you fuss me. Me. Special me. Wonderful me. Fantastic me. Phenominal me... where's that spliff again?

Bunny Girls (and Miles) had better come back quickly. They forgot to eat the cheese course.

Boris.
NOT a Party Pooper

Living in a household of known eccentrics is bad enough....but now....yes now.... we have the accolade.
Freddie...you may have slow worms in your patch.....but WE have a snake in the bath.
A snake in the bath you may ask??
Yes yes, a snake in the bath.

We have had lambs in the woodshed
and bunnies in the bed
and spiders in the sink now meet....Sid.
He started out as 6 inches long.



After four days in the bath HE is now 3 foot long and growing!!
What are we going to do with a 6 foot wet snake?




He doesn't even taste very nice.....